Welcσme tσ A Better Wσrℓd ♥: May 2014

I don't talk about this a lot. I guess I have some difficulties to put my thoughts into words. And none of you, my readers, know about this. But for some reasons, I think I should tell you.

You may think I'm always happy, that there is nothing wrong with my life, that everything is always perfect in my life because I always post positive quotes and pictures. But that's not true; I choose to be happy. And it works.

I have problems, fights, pain, like everybody, I'm human. I just choose to see the positive things in everything.

It's not always easy. Sometimes you live a difficult period when you only think about this bad thing that just happened to you.

So, I was with this boy for one year. He was my first boyfriend. It wasn't a ridiculous love like some teenagers of our age have; we were truly in love. We were mature, serious. It wasn't always easy, in fact, we fought a lot. But we always had the maturity to forgive and to move on. It was made to last.

In September, we started college at two different schools. We were really busy with school, job and leisure. It was difficult to see each other more than once a week.

We put a lot of energy to make our relationship work even if it was tougher.

But quickly, I noticed that he didn't want to make it work as much as me. I was the only one who made efforts to keep seeing and talking to each other, and to stay a strong couple.

Despite my efforts, he broke up with me in november.

I just couldn't accept it. I kept telling myself that he still loved me, that he was only confused about this change. I kept telling myself that he was going to change his mind, that he was going to come back.

I couldn't imagine it wasn't going to happen. He was the perfect person for me, the right person for me. Nobody was good enough for me except him. I thought I would never fall in love again, that nobody could love me as much as he did, that no other relationship could work as well as ours. In my head, it was only him.

I didn't talk to him for almost one month. I wanted to leave him some time, to let him think. I thought he was going to talk to me and tell me he made an error soon, but it did not happen.

I told him before Christmas that I wanted to be friend with him, that even if I couldn't have him as a boyfriend, I wanted him as a friend, because he was important for me.

He didn't have the same opinion as me. He didn't want to be friend with me, he thought it wasn't a good idea.

I was devastated. My plan didn't work. He wasn't going to talk to me, to tell me he was sorry, to tell me he loved me as much as I loved him.

I tried to talk to him several times, but he wasn't interested. I talked to him at Christmas, New Year's Eve, at his birthday... Nothing worked.

He was my first thought when I woke up. I thought of him everyday. I missed him everyday. He was the reason I cried almost everyday. He was the only thing that really mattered to me.

One morning, I just didn't think about him when I woke up. One day, I just didn't think about him at all. One week, I just didn't cry at all. One month, I just didn't care about him at all.

Without any reason, I just stopped loving him. It was over. Like this.

It was difficult, but I overcame this. Everybody can do it. Even you.

You know, it's a break up, it's normal to be sad and to cry, and to think that it will never be okay like it used to. But believe me, your heart won't be broken forever.

Today, I have a new boyfriend since 2 months and I have never been so good and happy with someone, even with my ex. And right now, he's the one who's sad.